Trying something new…

blogcomfortzoneI have declared 2018 to be the year that I do the big scary things. I have set out to live my life to the fullest this year and break out of old ruts and routines and blaze a new trail for myself! I set the course with my “Live List” and I have begun crossing items off that list and making strides in accomplishing some of my biggest goals!

One item on my list was to try a workout class I had been too afraid to try. I decided to sign up for the “Drop Pounds, Get Paid Challenge” at Fit Body Boot Camp. Best. Decision. Ever. The classes are challenging but so fun. And the best thing is, they are making a difference in my body and in my mind! I love having time that is just mine where I can go and sweat and work through stress. I feel strong when I finish a class even though I also feel like throwing up and crying.

I am also training for my first half marathon. I plan on completing the Rite-Aid Cleveland Half Marathon in May. There are so many good things coming this year and I am really excited to get into my best and healthiest shape ever!

Am I comfortable doing these things? Nope! Not even a little bit! Despite the discomfort I love who I am becoming. It’s so true that life begins at the end of your comfort zone. I am pushing my own boundaries and I am enjoying the results.

I can’t wait to share some progress photos with you all in a few weeks. I plan on taking some at the end of the 3rd week. Tomorrow begins week 2!

Get out there and do something uncomfortable! It may be the best thing you could possibly do for yourself!

Have a lovely day!

Blog sig

Only God creates such perfect love…

There is a Celine Dion song called Miracle that speaks to this momma’s heart. The part that always makes me cry is this:
The nearest thing to heaven
You’re my angel from above
Only God creates such perfect love…

In 2009, on a cold December morning, my twin boys were born. They arrived in a hurry via emergency cesarean section. My water had broken a few days prior but when we tested the fluid I was leaking it did not appear to be amniotic fluid and I was sent home. 2 days later, I went for my 36 week ultrasound and we discovered that the boys were surrounded by very little fluid and that they weren’t moving as much as they should have been. I was sent to Labor and Delivery to have my babies.

blogsection

At 11:58 AM and 12:01 PM my tiny little miracles entered the world. They had full heads of dark hair. I wouldn’t meet them for a few hours after. My husband snapped a few quick pictures of them and I had those images to hold me over until they were in my arms. I knew everything was perfect.

And then it wasn’t.

Sort of.

A few hours after the boys were born I was in recovery surrounded by my husband and his parents when a kind faced doctor walked in to introduce herself to us. She told us she was the neonatologist and she had been caring for the boys in the NICU. She told us our boys were handsome, they had lots of hair and they were doing well.

Then she changed my entire life.

“We think the boys both have Down Syndrome.”

Heart stopped. Breathing felt impossible. Agony. Crushing agony.

“But it will be ok.”

Relief. Hope. Everything might be ok. 

Maybe they were wrong.

“I’m going to sneak them down here because I think you need to meet them.”

Literally one of the best moments of my life.

Blog CandC

They were the tiniest babies I had ever been around even though in the NICU world they amounted to linebacker status. Baby A (The Bear)- 5# 4.7 oz. Baby B (the Bug)- 5# .5 oz. The most gorgeous creatures I had ever seen in my life. It was love and confusion all at once.

I held them. I remember kissing The Bug’s tiny head. I remember whispering to both of them that I loved them.

I remember trying not to cry so people wouldn’t think I didn’t love them.

After everyone left and I had time to myself I looked up and challenged God. “I don’t know who You think You are but You have the wrong person. I can’t do this.”

I remember praying to God a second later, “Please let them be wrong.”

I remember crying and hurting. I remember everything. I remember every second of that recovery room. I remember it in detail. I remember the smell. The chill. I remember the shaking happening in my body that had NOTHING to do with the temperature. I remember feeling lost and alone and scared and angry. I remember being madly in love with those babies. I remember knowing that the doctor was right. I remember thinking that I somehow knew this was what I was meant to live through.

I accepted it and rejected it simultaneously.

It took a few days before we had the results. I was broken once again with the confirmation. My husband saved me. He was my rock. He told me that the boys were perfect. I never doubted it again.

I took that trip down memory lane so that this next part makes more sense.

Today was a rough day. I have challenging days every now and then, most of them stem from the fact that I feel stretched too thin, have too much on my plate, and feel like a general failure most of the time. Like I am never enough me to serve all those I love.

I decided to find some joy and salvage the night so I asked The Bear if he was ready for his bath. The boys are 8 now and still not able to fully bathe themselves properly though they’ve made huge strides in this area. That coupled with the fact that if left to their own devices in the tub the entire second floor of my home would be soaked and bubbly, it’s just better if there is a grown up in the room. So, I was watching my son play in bubbles and talk quietly to his toys and I was struck with a feeling a peace. It occurred to me that no matter what else I do wrong in a day, my kids are always happy with who I am and they love me unconditionally, just as I love them.

After he got out of the bath and I dried him off, The Bear turned to me and put both hands on my cheeks and smooshed them in and smiled at me and then he gave me a big old Bear kiss. The fact that he immediately turned and spanked his little tush at me and ran out of the room laughing didn’t entirely ruin the moment. It made me laugh.

I helped him dress and told him I love him. He looked at me and I felt like he always sees me. He SEES me. The Bug does this, too. They see past the bs and the façade and the image I try to project to the world and they see to the important stuff. It’s like they see the potential in me but they already think I am pretty darn great.

I hugged him again and as he got ready to run downstairs he turned and said, “Thank you.”

I wish those boys and their sweet little sister realized just how full they make my heart. I wish kids had the ability to understand how deep a mother’s love really runs.

They have made my life immeasurably better than I could have ever imagined.

If I could go back in time to that recovery room and whisper in my own ear I would say, “You have no idea how lucky you are. Your life is going to be amazing. All the good things will come because of that extra chromosome. Breathe easy, momma. The adventure is just beginning.”

Blog sig

Forget resolutions, you need a LIVE list

LIVE LIST PIN
Welcome back!! Let’s kick off 2018 with my first post!
If you’re like me, you have made a habit of writing lists of resolutions year after year that you either ignore on January 2nd, or you’ve made a list that sets you up for failure from the beginning. Some examples of my ACTUAL resolutions from years past:
*Do one load of laundry every single day for 2017
*Wash all the dishes every single night before bed.
*FINALLY lose all 40 pounds of  baby weight.

So, let’s talk about what came of those resolutions, shall we?

*I DID do one load of laundry every single day. For the first week of 2017. But by the end of the year I consistently had about 9 loads of laundry piled up and instead of doing them I walked past the growing pile and flipped the bird. Stupid laundry.

*Wash all the dishes every single night before bed. HAHAHAHAHA. Made it almost a month. By February we were playing Tetris with plastic kid’s cups, coffee mugs, and wine glasses. Goodness I would love a dishwasher!

*FINALLY lose all 40 pounds of baby weight. Oh. My. Let me stop and catch my breath because I am laughing too hard at that particular list item. Since I set that resolution I added another baby, 40, er 60 MORE pounds and have raised that child for FIVE YEARS!

Resolutions set us up to feel like absolute failures. We take all the things we feel most insecure about and decide that a calendar date is the beginning of living our best ever life. We focus so much energy on the things we like the least about ourselves that we forget to think of the things we actually LOVE about ourselves. We forget the beauty of life is actually LIVING life.

I don’t know about all of you out there but *this* momma forgets to do the things that make me feel happy and fulfilled.

Enter 2018. This year I decided that I was NOT setting resolutions. I chose instead to create a LIVE LIST!

My dear friend and inspiration for so many things, Terri, is the one who taught me about a Live List. She is doing super cool things and calling it a Live list.  Basically you focus on doing things that make you feel alive and it is so much more positive than a Bucket List. It’s life affirming.

me and terri blog

Me and Terri, a woman I am proud to call my friend.

My LIVE List this year includes:
*Finally getting the tattoo I have had planned for 7+ years.
*Read 12 books this year that have more words than pictures and weren’t written about a talking animal.
*Visit Disney World with my family.
*Run the half marathon I have been afraid to commit to for almost a decade.
*Write 1 blog post each week all year long.
*Do more public speaking events.
*Try a workout class I have been too afraid to try! Zumba or boot camp maybe?

me at uncon blog

8/2017 before taking the stage at Perfectly Posh UnCon in Salt Lake City

Why did I choose those items? Each thing on my list inspires me in a different way. Each thing will help me to make memories, fill my bucket, refresh me, push me toward the goals I wish to accomplish, and truthfully, each thing just makes me HAPPY when I imagine working on them or finishing them. I didn’t choose one thing that made me focus on something I don’t like about myself. I chose a few things that make me a little nervous because I think it is important to challenge ourselves.

Ok, Meghan. It’s a neat idea in theory but WHY do *I* need a Live list?

It’s easy. We get so bogged down in the every day race of life. We spend so much time worrying, stressing, running, comparing our journey to everyone else’s journey, focusing on what we aren’t doing well, and doubting ourselves, that a Live List encourages us to take time out for things that make us feel alive, invigorated and INSPIRED! You’ve likely heard the phrase you can’t pour from an empty cup and it is so true. If you never take time for yourself, how can you possibly be your best to serve others? We owe it to ourselves to find time in our lives to *live* our lives!

So, I want to know if the idea of a Live list inspires YOU as much as it INSPIRES me! If so, comment with something you would like to do this year! I will chronicle my journey over the next year finishing my Live list and what, if anything, I add to it as the year progresses.

Have a beautiful day, friends!
Blog sig

Continue reading

Welcome to Famdemonium!

If you’ve found yourself here by choice or by accident, welcome!  I am happy that you’re here with me! This little corner of the internet has been reserved for yours truly to share all the fun and adventures of my family.

Who am I?

My name is Meghan. I wear many hats here in my wild world. I am a wife, married to and madly in love with, my best friend. I am a stay at home mom. I am a work from home mom who earns a living as a successful Silver Premier with Perfectly Posh and the proud leader of the Posh Pandemonium company. I am a home school mom to my 3 beautiful kids. I am a tireless advocate for people with Down syndrome, including my identical twins. I am a public speaker. I am a cub scout leader.  I believe in dreaming big, crushing goals, and being happy. On any given day, I am many things to many people.

I wouldn’t change a thing.

I love this life of mine. It keeps me busy. It drives me a little crazy. It fulfills me and makes me feel happy. I hope that over time you will find things here in this blog that you relate to, that make you smile, or that inspire you to try new things!

Thanks for stopping by! I can’t wait to introduce you all to my family, the things I love, and anything else that strikes my fancy!!

Have a beautiful day!
Blog sig